Losing someone who has been part of your Life isn’t easy and it never has been since the inception of time. In this instance, the feeling of losing a piece of your heart ; your lover, isn’t something you would even wish on your worst enemy, if you’ve ever been dumped by the person you love. Trust me, I’ve been there and i know how it feels.
Breakups suck. Whether you’re the one ending the relationship or the one being dumped, breakups can cause an overflow of emotions to occur all at once, which is why it’s helpful to know how to get over a breakup. Don’t get me wrong, there’s no “One size fits all” approach when it comes to dealing with a breakup.
Healing from a heartbreak is not the same process for everyone. It may even vary within the same person throughout their life, changing from one relationship to the next. So, to help you cope with your break up, I’ve come up with a bunch of tangible and practical ways I learnt from my darkest days.
Don’t Get Stuck in the Past
We all have the habit of looking back on our lives . Sometimes, both the good and bad memories may feel as though they’re playing on an endless loop in your head in the early stages of a breakup. These intrusive thoughts can slow down the process of healing and can be quite tempting. Resist the urge of spying on your Ex or their social media activities. Block them If the temptation to see if they’ve been paying attention to your Stories or post is too much, just block them. Though it may be difficult, try not to lose perspective.
Change Your Environment
Rearrange your home; get rid of all those bad memories. A new look creates space for new memories. Eliminating anything that reminds you of your Ex including pictures, clothes etc. Getting rid of those memories speeds up the healing process.
Don’t Stay Friends
Don’t immediately suggest to “stay friends”—and if they do ask, tell them you need to think about it. This is an impulse, because you don’t want to seem like you care too much about the breakup. You need time to heal and so do they. Maintaining a channel of communication will never allow those wounds to fully close.
Allow Yourself Time to grieve
It’s normal, especially if it was a serious relationship. Ignore the world for a little while. The key idea being, for a little while. Don’t shut yourself in and wallow in sadness for months on end.
Get Productive And Do Fulfilling Things
Invest in yourself. Commit to working on that project you’ve put on hold. Take up a new hobby. Take the much needed vacation and travel somewhere new. Go see some old friends. Set goals and accomplish them one by one.
Understand You Are Not Worthless
You are not less of a human being because they left you. Your value is not based on whether or not one person wants to be with you. Your value is based on how you perceive yourself. Some connections are temporary but they pave the way for the ones that last.
Stop Comparing Every New Romance To Them
Understand that you won’t find someone like them and that’s okay. Different is not worse, just different. Searching for an identical partner will always leave you frustrated. It prevents you from discovering all the other qualities you never knew you cared about. Don’t try to fit everyone into a predefined box but instead appreciate their individuality.
Forgiving Does Not Mean You are Stupid.
Forgiving your ex may take time and may not come easily, especially if you were hurt or betrayed. It’s important to note that forgiving someone does not mean that you condone their hurtful behaviour and actions. In fact, sometimes, the act of forgiveness is not so much about the other person. Arriving at a place of forgiveness gives you permission to stop investing time and energy into a person and situation that is no longer healthy for you.
Stop Analyzing Everything You Did Wrong
We’ve all screwed up in a relationship. You cannot fix what has passed and beating yourself up will do nothing beneficial. Instead, accept those mistakes and commit to being a better partner in the future.
Do Try Again When You’re Ready
While you don’t have to rush it, you may begin to open up to the possibility of another relationship as time goes on. It might be scary to think about falling in love again especially after you’ve been hurt but try to remember that as deep as the pain of a broken heart can be, it means that you experienced love just as deeply. You may not even be looking for a relationship when love finds you, as it can show up in unexpected places. If you are looking more intentionally, be open to meeting others when you go out and choose the places and activities you enjoy.
This article was inspired by someone I recently met. E.O – I wish this article gives her hope that it will get better, and strength to hold on until it does.